Run your own race

A huge mistake I have often seen in my 25 years of clinical practice is people making themselves miserable looking around at what others achieve and then paying attention to bitter, envious or self-hating mentations. 

Remember, the more we pay attention, the more we instruct our brains to build neural synapses specifically devoted to these (unwanted) themes, ironically making them a bigger and bigger part of our mental experience.  This is how people become bitter, envious or self-hating – none of us start off this way.

Instead, try to run your own race in life.  Decide the goals YOU want to achieve and then set about systematically achieving them, irrespective of what others are doing.  In other words, back yourself and run your own unique race.

Of course, it is still important to stay connected to new developments that progress your ideas. However, this can be done without paying any attention whatsoever to the unwanted themes.  Constructively working with others, talking and reading about new developments in your area are great ways to stay connected, cutting-edge and relevant.

If your focus is squarely on running your own race, any ideas you encounter from others are immediately related to how YOU could utilise them in your own specific agenda.  The focus is never on envy, bitterness or self-hate – it is always on running your own best race in whatever way works best for you.