{"id":3979,"date":"2022-01-11T08:32:45","date_gmt":"2022-01-11T08:32:45","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/salleemclaren.com.au\/?p=3979"},"modified":"2022-01-25T03:29:59","modified_gmt":"2022-01-25T03:29:59","slug":"dont-avoid-conflict-just-behave-well-during-it","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/salleemclaren.com.au\/?p=3979","title":{"rendered":"Don\u2019t Avoid Conflict, Just Behave Well During It"},"content":{"rendered":"

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Most people believe that conflict must end in tears, rage or losing out.\u00a0 This is why so many people avoid it, and either go over-the-top in their aggression (to force and intimidate others) or comply and go underground to manoeuvre others into doing what they want.<\/strong><\/p>\n

This is regrettable because neither of the above strategies work well.\u00a0 They both end in lose-lose outcomes.\u00a0 This is mainly because people are intelligent and quick to recognise coercion whether it is done brutally or manipulatively \u2013 and they dig in, block and resist.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Yet resolving conflict is one of the few means we have at our disposal for building truly close relationships with others.\u00a0 This is because every time we resolve<\/u> an issue, we end up building empathy by emphasising our similarity rather than our difference.\u00a0 More similarities mean that our interests become increasingly aligned over time \u2013 making us more and more on the same side. <\/strong><\/p>\n

We just need to behave well during conflict.\u00a0 Always come forward to talk \u2013 don\u2019t retreat and sulk.\u00a0 Never get angry and lose control.\u00a0 Stay soft and kind but put up a comprehensive, water-tight and sustained argument while keeping an exceptionally open mind. <\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Most people believe that conflict must end in tears, rage or losing out.\u00a0 This is why so many people avoid it, and either go over-the-top in their aggression (to force and intimidate others) or comply and go underground to manoeuvre others into doing what they want. This is regrettable because neither of the above strategies […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3979","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-articles"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/salleemclaren.com.au\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3979","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/salleemclaren.com.au\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/salleemclaren.com.au\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/salleemclaren.com.au\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/salleemclaren.com.au\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3979"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/salleemclaren.com.au\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3979\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4197,"href":"https:\/\/salleemclaren.com.au\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3979\/revisions\/4197"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/salleemclaren.com.au\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3979"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/salleemclaren.com.au\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3979"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/salleemclaren.com.au\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3979"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}